My Mind Screams!

July 10, 2019 | 5 min read

Summer of 2014 was the time when the strongest man of my life (Biceps measured at 16″) looked at me like I were one lost cause but I didn’t understand why. After a long night full of WHYs, an inexorable me stopped pretending what I was not. This Ballad helped my Dad learn 3 things – I am instinctive, I love him, and hell yeah, I can rhyme.
And you know Dad, I can’t be that
(Pic: Crystalgraphics / Google Image Search)

I am sorry Dad, I’m not that lad,
Who can chase your dreams to make you glad,
And you know Dad, I can’t be that,
I’m spoiled, I’m selfish, I’m a brat.

I tried enough to be the one,
A civilized guy and an ideal son,
But I’m not awake, I’m in my dreams,
Hey Dad! Hey Dad! My mind screams.

—-

you expect me to fairly act smart

Yeah, you did a lot, you played your part,
& you expect me to fairly act smart.

Even I tried that for a longer time,
That awful time was my educational prime,
But all I realized to my disgust,
I was playing a mime being an extrovert.

I know what you say, and what you wish,
Hey son! You can do, so just do this,
Go study and get good grades,
Educational option never fades.

I am sorry Dad, I’m not that lad,
Who can chase your dreams to make you glad,
And you know Dad, I can’t be that,
I’m spoiled, I’m selfish, I’m a brat.

I tried enough to be the one,
A civilized guy and an ideal son,
But I’m not awake, I’m in my dreams,
Hey Dad! Hey Dad! My mind screams.

—-

Engineering was never my choice,
Not my choice to dearly go rejoice,
I was too young to raise my voice,
And you just tried to equipoise.

But Dad, I had enough of that,
And you can even a put a bet,
One day in a bigger crowd,
They will shout ‘’Hey! He is Vashi’s Dad!’’
And, that day will make you proud.

Yea, I know Dad you care for me,
And therefore you are scared for me,
But you should atleast act so brave,
Look at momma, she is so scared.

I am sorry Dad, I’m not that lad,
Who can chase your dreams to make you glad,
And you know Dad, I can’t be that,
I’m spoiled, I’m selfish, I’m a brat.

I tried enough to be the one,
A civilized guy and an ideal son,
But I’m not awake, I’m in my dreams,
Hey Dad! Hey Dad! My mind screams.

—-

I am sorry Dad, I’m not that lad,
Who can chase your dreams to make you glad

Hey son! You are done with B.Tech,
Not a backlog and no retake,
But just don’t lose your track,
Or else you’ll go on wreck.

Yeah Dad! It’s a perfect plan, and I’m your real fan,
Engineering is in trend, but I don’t really understand,
Is this the only way to make you say, ‘‘Hey son! I am proud of you,
Who cares what you did or what you do?’’

But Dad, I assure you one thing,
That I will manage something,
That something may look crappy,
But that will make me happy.

So, please smile and don’t be sad,
A happy son needs a happy dad.

I am sorry Dad, I’m not that lad,
Who can chase your dreams to make you glad,
And you know Dad, I can’t be that,
I’m spoiled, I’m selfish, I’m a brat.

I tried enough to be the one,
A civilized guy and an ideal son,
But I’m not awake, I’m in my dreams,
Hey Dad! Hey Dad! My mind screams.

—-

Hey Dad! Be distinctive, your son is instinctive,
A thrust, a push, a force, puts me on a whole different course.

Yea Dad, I’m little mischievous, but I am not lack of genius,
Still I need support, I’d fly high, be my airport.

May be my words are fiery, and that may look scary,
What I did as a kid, I’m leaving it, that too in mid.

For me, in a clear flask,
I can see a daunting task,
Yea, I’m outward but not coward,
I’m dauntless to go forward.

Now read the verse, believe my words,
I’m different but not that bad,
I’m sorry Dad! I’m sorry Dad!

I am sorry Dad, I’m not that lad,
Who can chase your dreams to make you glad,
And you know Dad, I can’t be that,
I’m spoiled, I’m selfish, I’m a brat.

I tried enough to be the one,
A civilized guy and an ideal son,
But I’m not awake, I’m in my dreams,
Hey Dad! Hey Dad! My mind screams.

(Alter Ego: Libretto)

Fun fact: The only person who hated this Ballad is my father. But then again, he lost all his hair growing up a son like me, so we are even.

More to read in Poems

My Hero

The Painter

Saudade

Gallery

Himanshu Vashistha writes poetry mostly in the form of Ballads because storytelling should be as natural as drawing breath. Forced into engineering, he found his voice in the 4th year after his 3rd break up with his 2nd girlfriend. He always believed he is the Rebel this world needs, and now he works full-time 9 to 6 @Wisitech as a Business Analyst. Might lose a couple of organs soon, but he loves beer and puffs throughout the weekends. Follow him on Instagram if you like his work, and if you don’t, he might play violin during all your hangovers.

From Blue Pencil

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